i am writing this, a bit in awe of the passing of these days. i think of the great fathers of the Hebrews who asked God to "teach them how to number their days." i think of the great fleeting and temporary nature of life. we have so few days and they are often filled with labor and toil.

it is in the light of this that i find great hope in Paul's letter to the Colossians. he says, "for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." basically, when we receive Christ and the old self dies, our lives are being hidden with Christ in God. we are waiting for the coming of our Lord. so in this respect, regardless of the length of our days, we are living to see and experience the glory of God!

Paul also says that, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Paul further states that, "to live is Christ and to die is gain." and "[that] Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."

Paul had understanding on his days, on their brevity. he toiled and strove to present the Gospel. he gave his days freely to Christ, for it is Christ in us that is the hope of glory. Paul knew that the race had a finish line and he ran as hard as he could, he ran to win.

so in this life of business, toil, and labor; even as the days disappear faster than fog on a hot summer morning, i will hope in the Lord. for my life is not my own, even it was death and is death apart from Christ. even in Christ, my life has died as i wait for his glorious return. therefore, may i have sufficient courage and be unashamed of the Gospel and the work Christ has laid before me. may i strive with the strength of Christ and walk in the fullness of the relationship with him that the Holy Spirit brings. may i always put my hope in Christ and grow in him, from one degree of glory to the next.

i am sitting on my couch, drinking coffee and listening to music. this is the first saturday in a while that i haven't had anything that i had to do. last weekend, i biked 175 miles (100 on saturday) to raise money for the national MS society. the week before that was chores at the BSHOP including a monthly costco shopping trip. the week before that was a holiday.

i feel like i just blinked and the last 3 weeks fluttered by. i have been feeling somewhat worn down physically and was glad to sleep in today (until 9am!).

the house is empty today as most of the BSHOP are up at nordhouse dunes with a group of youth from sunshine church. we are doing a youth program for a week (or 10 days) where youth come and live with us for a week. we are calling it immersion. so, this weekend is the kickoff for the first of three immersions this summer. i am glad to have a day to myself, i have some things that i need to sort out in my mind and spirit.

my focus has been on one foot in front of the other for too long. i need to shift my focus to Christ. the heart, the mind, the soul, and the spirit all need to seek Him with everything that i have. anything less is just not enough.

I was riding home on my bike tonight in the rain. My mind wandered for a while and then I started thinking about the relation between sensory and perceptual interactions with the world. I realized that the perceptual is how we interpret our sensory interaction with the actual. Basically, we collect data (sensory) about the actual and then we process (perceive) that data about the actual. This inherently leads to subjectivity; the root of subjectivity is our very perception of our sensory interaction with the actual world.

Legality, therefore, is the (in human words) the hope of objectivity. We hope to provide a baseline for objectivity by which we can function and survive. If our laws provide proper objectivity, our lives are enhanced. (echoing the sentiment that a properly governed people are the happiest and most successful)

The first sign of a creator is here. We cannot, however hard we try, build objectivity! No matter how hard we try, we are forced to be subjective (definitively). Therefore, the introduction of something higher that provides objectivity is from something higher than us. (Before the fall, I believe we lived in objectivity and the choice we choose was for subjectivity). There are some things that may be pointed to as being bad and objective but this is just relabeling subjectivity. For democratically elected subjective thoughts that become a majority, “objective” law is nothing more than a tyranny in hiding. We cannot create a quorum based objective system. If we could then the mere changing of opinion would overthrow an “objective” law. How can objectivity be subjective? It cannot and that is why I say that only a good deity, completely objective and above approach and reproach can provide objectivity, whether that is a moral, legal, or religious structure. (I say “good” because that which is objectively bad, if we can indeed determine such things through any natural or otherwise law, leads only to death and that would escalate and swallow up everything in an exponential decay)

The world would not survive without objectivity. Subjectivity leads to indeterminate thoughts and ideas, which lead to relativism, which leads to chaos, and ultimately leads to the utter destruction of all life capable of higher though.

The roots of subjectivity point to a creator; the fruit of subjectivity without objectivity is utter destruction. The only deity that supports a framework of being able to provide an objective structure is the God of the Holy Bible. The revelation, suffrage, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Saviour, reveal the long hidden mystery of this God and his ultimate plan for the objective reunion of those who are not lost to their folly and vain subjectivity.

It is the very nature of God, being incomprehensible, that tells me that he is the true God. While he is incomprehensible, he has provided a bridge for us to know Him. (Jesus alone knows the Father, and he will reveal to those whom he chooses, the Father). Therefore, it is not a system based on any human workings but on the infinite love and mercy of God. Unlike other religious structures where the deity exhibits arbitrary behavior, the God of the Bible offers a system to all and will judge in fairness and equity. The objective constructs handed down from God on high point back to him.

Bound by our subjective futility, we only have hope in something higher than us. If there is no God, there is no objectivity. Search the world religions and find that the only system that holds true to all that we can see and experience, regardless of our inept subjectivity, is Christianity (on extension of Judaism of antiquity before Christ). Therefore, we are once again indebted to the objectivity of the natural law, which sometimes becomes the law of a ruling authority, handed down by God. For by his handiwork do we see any likeness of him, that which cannot be comprehended as he exists in his own. (The necessity of faith should begin to immerge from this discourse).

You should, by no means, take my word on its own. Search and probe. You will likely find faults and errors in that which is my own understanding. However, that which is verifiable in the Scripture will remain true. Please test, probe your own understanding, and assume nothing I say as true. Test my words with the Holy Bible and the natural world. I am confident that the God of the Bible and Jesus Christ will immerge be seen as truth. That there is one and only one God, a beautiful triune divinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

this song is powerful and speaks to where i am at in my pursuit of God and love.
Misty Edwards - Arms Wide Open

What does love look like? is the question Ive been pondering
What does love look like?
What does love look like? is the question Ive been asking of You
Once believed that love was romance, just a chance
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss, but love is more than this
All You ever wanted was my attention
All You ever wanted was love from me
All You ever wanted was my affections to sit here at Your feet and tell me
What does love look like? is the question Ive been pondering
What does love look like? If all of life comes down to love then tell me
What does love look like? is the question Ive been pondering
What does love look like?

Then I sat down a little frustrated and confused
Your fire of life comes down to love. And love has to be more than sentiment,
More than selfishness and selfish gain

Then I saw Him there
Hanging on a tree, looking at me
I saw Him there
Hanging on a tree, looking at me
He was looking at me looking at Him, staring through me
I could not escape those beautiful eyes
And I began to weep and weep

He had arms wide open, heart exposed
Arms wide open, He was bleeding, bleeding.
Arms wide open, heart exposed
Arms wide open, He was bleeding, bleeding
Loves definition
Loves definition, was looking at me
Looking at Him. Hanging on a tree
I began to weep and weep and weep and weep
This is how I know what love is.

And as I sat there, weeping, crying, those beautiful eyes
Full of desire and love. And He said to me
You shall love Me..You shall love Me.
With arms wide open, heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding
You shall love Me.. You shall love Me..

If anybody's looking for love in all the wrong places
If you've been searching for love, come to Me. Come to me.
Take up your cross. Deny yourself.
Forget your fathers house and run. Run with Me.
Cause you were made for abandon your heart and listen
Cause you were made for Someone greater, Someone bigger, so follow Me.
And you'll come alive when you learn to die.
And He said to me

You shall love Me. You shall love Me

With arms wide open, heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding

my mind has been thinking about Jesus and the Cross. it is at the Cross where i can begin to understand who i am in Him. the love that sent Christ to the Cross is what defines me. it is almost unimaginable that such love could exist.

this love is unquenchable. the redemption on the Cross was even offered to those who crucified Jesus! how great is that love?

at the Cross there is infinite glory and unimaginable suffering. this suffering, Jesus endured to death for the glory set before Him. and as we grow into the full maturity of Christ, we make His joy complete. let us live in a manner worthy of our calling!

i think back to a vision i had when i was a young believer:

i knelt at the cross, ashamed to behold
my eyes slowly lifted toward His face
wracked with anguish and grief,
pierced by thorn and crushed by fist
His eyes briefly met mine
i saw the crimson flow and off of a thorn
i watched that precious blood drip
the single red drop fell
the very time seemed to stand still
my eyes watched as it splashed into the dirt in front of me


thinking of the Cross, the sacrifice, the love, the suffering, the glory; often will bring tears to my eyes. who am i that he should think of me? yet He has called me, the Lion's roar cannot be ignored. so in light of the Cross, i run the race. i put down that which i once held dear and strive forward. i wage a ruthless war against the flesh in the power of the Holy Spirit. i strive for holiness and purity, to be like Christ.

Jesus, i am yours!